Special delivery!  You’ve got Mail!  Okay, I am not referring to the 1998 American romantic comedy-drama film starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.  A special friend has sent you a formal invitation in the mail (or by email) to possibly attend their holiday party. You’re excited to attend and you quickly post the date on your calendar, and you begin imagining your festive holiday attire to get people talking. 

To equip you as being honored for the best guest award and to continue to be on the VIP attendee list, we want to provide you with a little Holiday Etiquette 101! Here’s a gracious gathering guide to radiate politeness at every holiday soiree (Because nothing enhances a feast like good manners):

  • Remember to RSVP!: It’s a social obligation to accept or not to accept.  Please respond to your host with an answer. When your host requests an R.S.V.P, they want you to respond either with a simple “yes” or “no” that you will be attending their celebration. On occasion you may receive an invite that states, “R.S.V.P regrets only”; this means to respond only if you can’t attend – otherwise your attendance is expected by your host so please respond.
  • Remember to RSVP by the DUE DATE: Respond by the “Due Date”. Your host places a date for your reply for a reason. Your quick response assists with their preparedness to know how many people will be attending and to plan appropriately. Remember your host is making an investment to ensure that you have a wonderful experience celebrating with them.
  • Don’t Assume: If you are close to the host, don’t assume that because you are close friends that they know you are coming. Be a true friend and follow the directions provided by your friend and R.S.V.P. through the appropriate channel – don’t be a party or wedding crasher!
  • Change of Heart! Can’t Make it After you have RSVP’d: If for some reason at the last-minute you are not able to attend after you have accepted the invitation, it is only proper to CALL your host to explain your situation as to why you can’t attend…do not be impolite and be a no-show. Express your change of heart as soon as you know that your decision has changed.  Remember your host(s) have financially invested in you to be there!
  • No Food Critics Allowed: If you don’t have something nice to say about the food, channel your inner Iyanla, ensuring that your words are a balm, not a bomb. Compliment the chef, embrace the positive, and let good manners lead the way. ⁠
  • BYHG (Bring Your Host a Gift): Elevate your entrance with a thoughtful gift for your host – whether it’s a bottle of wine or a petite bouquet. It’s not just about manners; it’s about embodying the spirit of adulting gracefully.
  • No Party Crashers: This isn’t a surprise birthday bash. If your name isn’t on the invite, your presence shouldn’t be either. Respect the RSVP – it’s not a suggestion. Proper etiquette states that only the name(s) that are addressed on the envelope are the only people invited to the special event. To be respectful to your host(s), you should acknowledge this form of etiquette and only respond back indicating just the person(s) specified on the invitation. It is not proper etiquette to ignore this formality, and to take it upon yourself to invite more persons than indicated without consulting with your host. Don’t take it personal if you are not able to have a plus one. So, when you receive your next invitation in the mail, pay close attention to the addressee line!!
  • To-Go Drama? No, Thanks: Unless your host hands you a doggy bag, leave the Tupperware at home. Your host(s) did not create an experience for you to stock your refrigerator at home!
  • Socialize, Don’t Hibernate: Say hello to everyone in the room. It’s not a high school dance – extend warmth and make connections.
  • Embrace Your Inner Angel: Be on your A-game. This isn’t the time for controversial jokes or reenacting family dramas. Save the theatrics for the Macy’s Parade.
  • Post Gratitude: Thank you goes a long way! Send a quick response or note to inform your host of your gratitude.

Now, let’s set the table for a season filled with warmth, joy, and impeccable manners for our next holiday gathering.

(photography credit:  Trene Forbes Photography  |  picture of Tara Melvin, Signature Concepts LLC)