Couples are surrounded by the many facets of planning their special day, and right22 before saying “I Do” to each other they want to unite all those that are near and dear to them to celebrate right before the big day. The American tradition to merge families right before the wedding day is the rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding ceremony activity usually held right after the wedding rehearsal and the eve of the wedding. Although it is a tradition that is not required, I feel that this event is a time when the happy couple can have a private celebration with their dearest family and friends to unite, reflect, and celebrate right before emerging into an ocean of individuals that they may or may not have the opportunity to engage conversation with on the big day.

In my years of working with my couples, I have found that the rehearsal dinner can either be a simple process or it can be as complicated as planning the wedding day. To ensure that your rehearsal dinner is not as complicated as your wedding day, I would like to provide you with some helpful tips to make this a joyous occasion for you.

The Guest List. As highlighted in earlier conversation, the rehearsal dinner is a time to celebrate in an intimate setting with your dearest family and friends – so who would that be? The primary guest list should include – the wedding party, parents, grand-parents, 004Brunch_ClientAppreciation-HRthe spouses of your wedding party, siblings and their spouses. The secondary kindred persons would include, special aunts and uncles, a dear friend that is not in the wedding party, your officiant (if there is a close relationship), or other close relatives or friends. The rehearsal dinner guest list is contingent upon a couple’s budget in order to conclude who will be invited; however, the primary attendees are those that deserve an invitation to attend.

The Budget. The budget is contingent upon the number of individuals invited. On average, rehearsal dinners I have organized for my client’s range from 25 to 50 persons in attendance. Once you have decided on the guest list, consider the location of your rehearsal dinner. Restaurants can vary in price – $30 to $50 per person; this usually includes a 3 course meal with beverages to include soft drinks, iced tea, lemonade, and coffee service. If you desire to include libations with your meal service, look towards the higher spectrum of $50 plus per person. When hosting at home, the price varies on a large-scale. If the family is providing all of the elements including preparing the meal themselves, the cost can be as low as $15 per person for food alone; or if you decide to hire an outside caterer, the cost ranges from $35 to $60 per person. Additional costs to factor when hosting at home would be tent rentals, accessory rentals – chairs, tables, flatware, tableware, etc. Home based rehearsal dinners all depend on the elements you want to involve – ranging from inexpensive to more than the cost of hosting at a restaurant.

The Location. My favorite locations for rehearsal dinners are restaurants and at home-based locations. Restaurants provide all-inclusive amenities and services to host rehearsal dinners, and they require the least amount of labor for the couple. When engaging the services of a restaurant your tasks are as simple as selecting a scrumptious 021Brunch_ClientAppreciation-HRmenu, providing an accurate headcount, and arriving to celebrate. There is no setup or breakdown required on behalf of couples. To ensure a smooth process, pre-select the menu before arriving(within 3 weeks), choose a cuisine that will not be served on your wedding day, ensure that the restaurant has a private room for you and your guests. When pre-selecting your menu, choose a family style option or a duet style entrée to keep the night simple for everyone involved. Your guests will have a robust selection on your wedding day, so choose a meal for your rehearsal dinner that is the opposite of the entrée selections from your wedding day – provide variety! The intimacy and celebratory of the night should always be hosted in a room that provides privacy. Some restaurants may have a minimum food and beverage cost to secure a private room, but it will be worth it so that you are not in an open environment with other guests of the restaurant. Some of my favorite restaurant locations include Maggiano’s Little Italy, Teddy and The Bully Bar, Wildfire, and Columbia Firehouse.

Rehearsal dinners hosted at a family home are intimate and exciting also, in addition they provide a more relaxed and casual environment but require moderate to heavy labor for the couple and the host of the dinner. Home locations are best for backyard barbecues, picnics, or inside small sit-down dinners. The benefit of home based rehearsal dinners provides an overwhelming sense of relaxation for the family because everyone is celebrating in a familiar environment. The cons associated with a home based rehearsal dinner are the intensity of the preparation, setup, and breakdown which is primarily the responsibility of family members and the couple. Because there is so much love in the air, the love outweighs the cons with hosting a home based rehearsal dinner. To alleviate some labor intensity, based on your budget the family could consider the following: (a) hire a catering company to provide an informal style menu – the catering company would also to a degree be responsible for setup, serving of guests, breakdown, and would be there during the duration of your event to ensure its success; (b) if the family wants to prepare their own menu for the event, then hire a staffing company to come in to serve during the event; or (c) hire a wedding planner such as Perfect Planning to be responsible for all elements of your rehearsal dinner. Catering companies can range from a restaurant that provides off-site catering, such as Famous Dave’s (a very cost-effective concept), who has been fabulous when I have contracted them to provide barbecue style menus for my client’s rehearsal dinners, to a full service catering firm such as Tasteful Affairs (moderate to expensive concept) that provide a couture menu based on the needs of the individual. Additional things to consider for a home-based event are renting of tents, chairs, linens, etc. which can be sourced from a local rental company like DC Rentals or Select Event Group.

The Activities. The rehearsal dinner is a time to unite family and friends in an intimate environment on the eve of the wedding. My clients usually ask the question, “What do we do at the rehearsal dinner?” Don’t over think the event; remember to keep it casual, relaxed, and fun for all involved. Communicate to those invited either through a casual or formal invitation in the mail to a uniquely designed e-vite (I only believe that e-vites can be used for an event like this, not for the wedding), and make sure to provide them with a date to R.S.V.P. During this celebratory night, this is a great time for the couple to give thanks to their parents, provide special gifts to the wedding party, opportunity for the parents to provide a special welcome to the guests and show support to their kids, show montage video of the couple’s life together, and to just have fun!   And before the night is over, provide the wedding party with a timeline overview of the wedding day activities to ensure that they will be on time the next day.

In summary, when organizing the rehearsal dinner keep it simple. This is a time of blending families and close friends before the big day! Provide an intimate and relaxed environment, and remember to have fun. “Family is where life begins and love never ends” (author – unknown).

 

(photography credit:  Evelyn Alas Photography |  photographs from events planned by Perfect Planning Events)